Vulnerability and authenticity in daily life, relationships, and sex
Are you afraid of being seen? This can be one of the deepest wounds that we carry. To be seen, truly seen. Seen in all of our raw vulnerability, all of our imperfections, in our strength, in our sexuality, in our authenticity.
This experience of authentically being seen can be particularly scary for sensitive people and for those who feel like they don’t fit into conventional boxes. The world is filled with messages of shame, judgment, and conformity. When we hide, we can feel safer, but we can also feel lonely. We can feel stagnant.
Research shows that one of the most important aspects of therapy is the therapeutic relationship. That the experience of having someone see you and hold your shame, your guilt, and your fears with humanity and compassion is the foundation for deep healing. It is also one of the most important parts of couples therapy. When we can learn to feel safe being vulnerable with a partner, we can access a portal to deep sensuality, sexuality, authentic connection, and joy.
As I have deepened my exploration of archetypes, myths, and fairytales, I have noticed that this theme of being seen and of being vulnerable and authentic is weaved throughout humanity’s myths. From Persephone embracing her power, her pain, and her duality to Circe owning her sexuality and her magical abilities to Aphrodite unapologetically experiencing pleasure, each of these archetypal journeys involves a deep awareness of self and a deep experience of showing up in the world and walking one’s own path.
The work of authenticity is coming to a place of acceptance, that yes, you might get judged. Yes, you might not be everyone’s cup of tea. But what if we all stayed small, hiding in the shadows, hiding our light? Life would be so incredibly boring. We would feel alone. We would become more disconnected. When we see people walking their own path, unapologetically showing up, it’s powerful. It’s healing.
Consider the ways in which you were taught to be in this world. The messages you received about relationships and around sex. What did you learn? In what ways have you been hiding? From yourself, from your partner, from others? This part of us that has kept us hidden is often trying to keep us safe. Have compassion for this part and for all that you have held in your life. Also, consider if these patterns are still serving you. Are there aspects of your life that you are ready to change?
Reflect on these questions and on your own unique journey. All of our paths are different and finding your voice, safety in being seen, and honoring your authentic self can be one of the most powerful and healing parts of this human experience.